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The Onion •23 Jun 2026 60 here now

Tesla Launches New Model Of Explosions

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Tesla stocks are surging following Elon Musk's announcement that the fully self-combusting Tesla XP is set to debut later this month.

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Comments (20)

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@
@Heavilymoderated From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 89
I heard that you have to pay a daily subscription or the door handles will not reveal themselves.
@
@PhillipBell From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 48
Expected to be delivered three years late, explosion reduced to a strong firework, cost of explosion triple.
@
@CheapFlashyLoris From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 412
SpaceX: "Hold my beer"
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@Commandos1-2 From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 56
cant wait for the Tesla Model TNT
@
@babetaiveta From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 174
Can't wait for the Grok powered self-exoloding model
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@incoggneeto6937 From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 95
But have they removed all internal door handles to prevent accidental occupant escapes...?!
@
@kkiil05 From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 200
their stocks really blew up after this one
@
@mannotwiththeplan From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 80
Finally, Elon Musk finds an affordable way for almost anyone to blast off to Mars.
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@xyx12300 From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 80
Actually, the Trapped Inside feature is now standard equipment.
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@tvinthegaspump-vu2cu From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 353
Sure hope they've got those no escape door handle features, if I'm gonna esplode I wanna make sure I can't get out.
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@seanmchugh9027 From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 308
Damn. Can't they just add the explosions to existing models in a software update
@
@TheoPapageorgio From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 749
The Onion is like an onion, it makes me cry, from laughter.
@
@onyx8231 From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 351
Have they replaced the windshield with a giant screen that displays what's in front of the car yet?
@
@BrandEver117 From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 2000
GOD DAMMIT I THOUGHT THE BEEP WAS IN MY HOUSE
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@projjalm From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 502
can't believe they got Michael Bay to direct this one
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@NewMessage From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 1100
Awww.. that's just last year's explosion with more bells and whistles.
@
@Daneen-q8r From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 1200
" What about the people who die in the exploding Teslas ? "
" They are much less vocal now "
@
@cluckerino From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 1100
"Not even death can stop these idiots from giving us their money."

WTF, isn't The Onion supposed to be fake news?
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@BernieDSniper From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 1600
I'm waiting for the day Tesla replaces the steering wheel with another touch screen
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@Master_Therion From YouTube ↗ 30 Jun 2026 3300
Can't wait to try out the new Tesla Model C4.