Likeability Expert: Stop Doing This, It’s Why People Quietly Avoid You! | Vanessa Van Edwards

As the over talker please don't shame us or shut us down by saying "Is it my turn now" there has to be a better way. because I know you will never hear my voice again. that is the dream killing talked about at the 1 hour mark. She is right, if you engage in the conversation and lean into it with an over talker we feel like you are part of it all so we can dial it back and give you space to take the lead..
If I feel like you are disengaged I get nervous and then try to pull it out of you to join the convo or feel like you are upset so I have to fix it, entertain you etc. IT"S EXHAUSTING.
But if you shame me, Don't worry cause I'll be at a -5 every time we speak going forward

I totally understand why "what's your story" is so stressful. Personally as an introvert I don't get anxiety from questions like this, but it's just not specific enough. I'm not given a starting point so what do you want to hear about? My parents, my upbringing, how I got to the location we're at now, what my job is, what my likes and dislikes are, what my relationships are like? It's TOO open ended from my perspective unless there's clear context clues as to what they're looking for. The introverts won't like having to make you clarify what you're asking. It becomes a burden you put on me, essentially.

The trailer made her sound superficial and prompted a slew of negative messages from people who didn't watch the episode. The episode is about love, connection, and self esteem. She gives amazing and deep insights that not only help in conversation, but use conversation as a way to have a more meaningful human experience. And yes, I feel extremely lucky. I have come across people who have saved my life and given me the path to extraordinary healing and spiritual fulfillment. From the darkness, I have been saved and brought above and beyond my imagination.

Be comfortable with yourself, don't worry about being popular, 'experts' are capitalising on anxieties.

I think the fastest way to connect requires being able to maintain a state of curiosity and expressing it, not everyone will connect with your personality, curiosity is like an emotional skill

Are you two even in the same conversation let alone room? She spoke and spoke and spoke right over you and saying this as a fan of both of you sincerely . Take a breath Vanessa 😅

For the first time, I wasn’t able to go through the entire interview, and was about communication.

"Conversation is the vehicle to get what you want." All the me, me, me, selfish souls will lap this up.

“even introverts have big goals” - well that sounded insulting

I have never been so disconnected from what a guest says. This is like HR telling everyone how to talk with each other.

All I want to say to her is relax and let others relax. Stop pressing people. They just want to enjoy themselves in good conversations.

I feel like all her questions puts people like me on the spot, which I do not like, at all as an introvert. She's the type of person I become fake & vague with, just to find a way to get away.

Just listened to the intro. I'm an old guy and we were encouraged to listen to understand rather than listen to compete.

The idea of someone asking me what my biggest goal is right now makes me physically ill.

anyone who speaks to me like this person does, shuts down the conversation in 1 second flat.

What I got from this was mastering the art of appeasing people. Just be yourself and talk how you like. The right ones will connect with you. End of story. You can’t connect with everyone…. even as a leader.

My bf is the best conversationalist I’ve ever met and he got me out of my introverted shell almost immediately. He can make conversation with anybody. What I’ve noticed is that he’s super genuine and curious with everyone he meets. He will ask “fact based” questions but is very good at following them up and digging a little deeper. He’s also really good at remembering small details, so he can circle back or follow up later on. Finally, he is not afraid to not know something. Let me explain. Sometimes I think I get stunted in conversations because I don’t like to admit that I don’t know what someone is talking about. My boyfriend is not like that, he has no problem asking clarifying questions or asking someone to explain. I think people are more willing to talk when they feel like the expert in the conversation. Because he’s not afraid to ask questions and shows genuine curiosity, people open up to him.

I think for us introverts, authenticity goes a long way. I don’t like answering personal questions just for the sake of it, but if someone is sincere and genuine, I will open up pretty quickly.

Be genuine, be yourself, the world is hungry for authenticity. It’s through authenticity that we experience peace.

Here in Finland we are not scared of silence in conversation :) Sometimes we are just in silence and it feels good.

Do you like these types of conversations? Tap the like button on the video, that’s the best way to let me know you want more like this ❤ And if you haven’t already, hit subscribe - it’s completely free and it really helps the channel grow 🙏🏾appreciate you! One last thing, do you feel lucky? Let me know your thoughts via the link below - SB x

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